Relationship abuse, also known as domestic abuse or domestic violence, is any single incident or pattern of controlling, coercive, threatening, or violent behaviour between people aged 16 or over who are, or have been, intimate partners or family members.
It can affect anyone, regardless of gender, sexuality, age, background, or job role.
Abuse can take many forms, including:
- Psychological such as gaslighting, threats, or manipulation
- Physical including hitting, slapping, or physical intimidation
- Sexual which includes any unwanted sexual activity or pressure, even if you are in a relationship
- Financial such as controlling money or preventing access to finances
- Emotional including constant criticism, isolation, or undermining confidence
It can also include forced marriage, so-called “honour-based” violence, and ritual abuse.
Controlling behaviour involves a range of actions intended to make someone feel dependent or isolated. This might include cutting them off from friends and support, controlling their day-to-day decisions, or limiting their independence.
Coercive behaviour refers to repeated acts like intimidation, humiliation, threats, or assault, used to harm, frighten, or wear someone down over time.
Relationship abuse often overlaps with other forms of violence or abuse, including sexual violence, and can escalate gradually. Abuse doesn’t always begin with physical harm, it often starts with more subtle behaviours that build over time.
Everyone has arguments, and everyone disagrees with their partners, family members and others close to them from time to time. But if those behaviours become part of a repeated pattern, especially if they make you feel scared, controlled, or unsafe, it may be a sign of abuse. A Useful resource if you are unsure or have more questions is Am I in an Abusive Relationship? by Women's Aid.
You don’t have to have all the answers to seek support. Whether you’re unsure, concerned about a friend or colleague, or just want to talk, help is available.