If you think someone you know has been sexually assaulted, there are lots of ways in which you can help them.
If someone has been sexually assaulted their reactions can vary; they may be afraid, angry or have no outward reaction at all. They might even act in ways that seem unusual to you, even laughing at seemingly inappropriate times.
Disclosures can come in many forms; it could be something said jokingly, a story that someone starts to tell then stops and says it doesn't matter, or it could be a question. You are not expected to be a professional counsellor; however how someone responds to a first disclosure can be really important. It can take time for a person to decide what they want to do and how they want to move forward.
- Are they in immediate danger? If they are in immediate danger or seriously injured, you can call 999.
- Finding a safe space. If possible, try and find somewhere they feel safe. If this isn't possible and you are on campus you can call security on:
- 0208 223 5599 (Docklands)
- 0208 223 4073 (Stratford)
- 0208 223 7888 (USS)
- Sexual assault is a crime of power and control. The most important thing is to respond in a way that maximizes their choice and control over what happens next. You can simply ask them what they need or want. They might not make the same decision you would; however, only they can decide what is best for them. You can help them explore options, but avoid telling them what they should do.
- What is sexual assault? Familiarise yourself with the definition of sexual a ssault. You can also read about the truth behind harmful myths relating to sexual violence [hyperlink to ‘Dispelling myths about sexual violence- know the facts ‘ page]
- Listen. Just taking the time to listen to someone and talk about what has happened can help. These six active listening tips might help you support them.
Published on Oct 4, 2015 Based on the Samaritans guidelines for active listening.
- Give options. When they have finished talking ask them if they are ok to talk through some possible options and next steps. Remember, it is important that they decide what they want to do.
- UEL Sexual Violence Liaison Officers (SVLO). Our SVLO's are specifically trained and available for advice and guidance on further support options and for ongoing wellbeing support for students. Appointments can be booked through the Student Wellbeing Team by contacting email@example.com
- Take them to security, who have been trained in taking a disclosure of sexual violence. Security can give them a copy of A guide to information, help and support around sexual violence.
- Reporting to the police. If they are thinking of reporting to the police, rape crisis have produced a useful list of things to think about.
- Reporting the incident anonymously. They can call crime stoppers at any point on 0800 555 111 or use their online form.
- Report and Support. Students and staff can report an incident using the UEL Report and Support system.
- University Procedure. If they choose to report a member of staff or a student by naming them in their report, there are procedures which set out the actions the University may take. This may include carrying out conduct investigations.
· They might not want to report the assault to the police or the University. There are a lot of reasons why someone may choose not to report sexual violence.
· In most cases of sexual assault, the offender is known to the victim.
· They might be concerned that people won’t believe them or may not identify what occurred as a sexual assault
· They may be concerned who else might be informed.
· They may have fear of or confusion about the criminal justice system or what happens if you report it to the University.
· If drugs or alcohol were involved, they may choose not to report because they are worried they will get in trouble as well.
· It is up to them to decide what they want to disclose and to whom. Your support can help them talk through their concerns.
· Let them know that you believe them and support their decisions.
· Remind them that no one, regardless of relationship or status, has the right to hurt them and that no matter what, it is not their fault that this occurred.
· Connect them with resources that can help them understand what happens if you report to the police and or the University.
Things to avoid
· Just saying "it’s not your fault" (without listening to the survivor's story)
· Using key ‘catch phrases’ or common sayings – e.g. “it will all be better with time"
· Probing for details. Let them tell you what has happened in their own time
· Blaming them – e.g. “what were you wearing?” and “were you drinking?” or “did you text him to come over?”
· Showing disgust or shock
· Smirking and showing obvious disbelief
· "Why didn’t you say straight away? Why are you only coming forward now?"
· Trivialising the experience – “it’s not really a big deal”
· Take care of yourself, you too can access student and/or staff wellbeing services for support
4. What support is available if I have been sexually assaulted?
Docklands T: 0208 223 5599
Stratford T: 0208 223 4073
USS T: 0208 223 7888
Dignity Advisors Network
Student Wellbeing Team (students)
T: 0208 223 4444
T: 0800 389 0285
The closest Haven SARC to UEL is in Whitechapel, near to Royal London Hospital
T: 0203 299 6900
Revenge Porn Helpline
T: 0345 600 0459 (Open 10:00-16:00 Monday-Friday)
Respect : Information and support for men who experience domestic violence
T (if you are experiencing domestic violence): 0808 801 0327
T (if you are hurting someone you love and need help to stop): 0808 802 4040
Survivors UK : Support for male survivors of sexual abuse and rape
T: 0203 598 3898
Women and Girls’ Network : Counselling and support to help women and girls recover from violence
T: 0808 801 0770
Galop : The LGBT+ anti violence charity
If you’ve experienced hate crime, sexual violence ordomestic abuse, we’re here for you. We also support lesbian, gay, bi, trans and queer people who have had problems with the police or have questions about the criminal justice system.
Incident report form : http://www.galop.org.uk/report/
(Note: UEL will not see this report or any of its contents)
National LGBT+ Domestic Abuse Helpline
T: 0800 999 5428
London LGBT+ Advice Line
T: 020 7704 2040
Race/Faith Based Support Resources
CST : Community Security Trust, a charity that protects British Jews from antisemitism and related threats.
Emergency T (24h): 0800 032 3263
London Head Office T: 020 8457 9999
Tell Mama : Measuring Anti-Muslim Attacks
Contact form: https://tellmamauk.org/contact/
Whatsapp (can be used to text or request a call back from a confidential phone line): 0734 184 6086